When I was younger, I didn’t care about politics or civics at all. To me, it was all B*S*, all politicians were corrupt, and all of it had little to do with my reality of raising my children as a single mom, trying to buy food and budget my inadequate finances to stay afloat. I thought the rantings of my elders was just so much of a social trope (think the image of an old man complaining “things aren’t like they used to be.”)
In today’s lack of cohesive society, and with the hindsight of age, I now understand their concerns. So I sat down to maybe glean some ideas of how to be part of the solution instead of the problem or worse, turn a blind eye. I hope my thoughts even awaken ideas within others.
The last four years of American history have been, in short, a flaming dumpster fire. I’m not going to list it all, it’s just socially and emotionally obscene. And there’s a lot of people out there who voted for Trump in 2016 that know it. They’ve seen their finances turned topsy-turvy, lost friends and loved ones to Covid-19, seen beloved businesses run into the ground never to exist again. And they know who is responsible.
What those who cherish life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness need to do for these people is what the mental health community is calling “holding space” for them. It’s got to be a hard thing to see all this destruction and wanton disregard for everything this country stands for and not feel a little ashamed, a little betrayed, a little embarrassed, and a little self-responsible. Or a LOT of those things.
Those feelings can be hard to process internally, much less express externally. And one of the steps of that processing is denial. Denial that they’re responsible, denial that the facts are accurate or real (think “Fake News!”) And that denial can lead to their belief that they should “try again” and “maybe this time he’ll get it right,” and vote for Trump AGAIN in 2020.
And to make things worse, if those who didn’t vote for Trump ridicule those who did, saying “this is your fault, YOU voted for him!” it’s counterproductive to the process of them stepping away from that denial. Provoking people doesn’t educate them, it makes them stubborn. Reactive.
What people can do to allow these people to come to terms with a bad choice is hold space for them to choose differently. To allow them to admit they made a mistake without judgement or ridicule (or even any comment at all if necessary,) and give them the support they need to choose differently. To welcome them into the segment of the population which stands against tyranny, hatred and bigotry.
To admit you made a mistake and own up to it can be a difficult thing. Especially when that choice results in a disaster that threatens the very fabric of this Nation. To defeat and prevent a repeat of that in November of 2020, what we need to do is give forgiveness to those who believed the lies of a person who promised them the moon and the stars, wealth and prosperity, security and freedom, and instead gave them poverty, fear, anger and a Covid-19 death toll larger than World War I and the Vietnam conflict combined!!
This isn’t their fault — they were duped. They were, and still are, lied to by one of the greatest con men our country has ever seen. And the greatest thing we can do is support them in making a better choice for a better America, and then never again say the name of the attention-seeking ego-maniacal malignant narcissist who lied to them EVER AGAIN. Let him become “He who shall not be named,” to quote a book, and focus that attention on the ones he so blatantly conned.
To do anything less shows them it’s not safe to choose differently, and the Nation can’t stand against another four years of bad choices.