I have to say, there have been times in my life when I have tried to express my choice to live as balanced, compassionate, and label-free as possible, and I have often been met with some pretty nasty opposition from any sides which choose to view themselves as defined by a label. That is no less true now, but now I see no choice but to act in accordance with some of these labels, and weather whatever opposition that comes my way as best as I can. And when I say that, let me clarify.
Yes, I was born white, which gives me an opportunity not afforded to people who were not born white. I get that. And I've tried all my life not to abuse a privilege that I can't change. I can no more change my skin color than a person of another race can change theirs. So let's not let that be the issue.
HOW people use that fact of biology is what makes the difference. When the numbers tell people with white skin that people of other skin colors - specifically dark or black - are treated inhumanely, it's incumbent for people who have the privilege of NOT being treated inhumanely to stand up and say something to those perpetrating the inhumanity. This should a HUMAN thing, not a race thing, a political thing, a spiritual thing, a gender thing or national thing. A human thing.
I'm not advocating "Black Lives Matter," or even "All Lives Matter," although most certainly, these statements are both correct - they are not mutually exclusive. And honestly, I lean more middle-of-the-road. I don't believe "all" lives matter per se, but I also don't believe it's humanity's right to choose based on subjective criteria, feelings, hunches, or mob-rule when to end another's life. The Universe, humanity's propensity for stupidity, natural selection (when allowed to do it's job,) and Mother Nature are all fully capable of doing that.
And I sure as hell don't believe it's right to kill, harm, threaten or profile people (ANY people) based on the color of their skin, their gender or choice of gender (or lack thereof,) their form of sexuality (and let me clarify again, choice of adult, consensual sexuality, not aberrant mental illness-based sexuality like child molestation,) genocide, religious cleansing, etc. These are labels humanity has created, they are not natural, not evolutionary, and not constructive. I doubt if bonobo monkeys ostracize members of the group who have 6 whiskers on one side and 5 on the other... because it's STUPID TO DO SO.
That being said, I was raised in a very dysfunctional and racist family and household. I have little doubt that the rest of my living family most likely have quite a different view of race and humanity than I do (and if any of them read this - which I doubt will happen except by sheer accident - and that is not true, I sincerely apologize.) As a young child I heard pretty much every racial slur, derogatory epithet and pejorative known to the English language. When I was too young to know better, I wondered why such terms were necessary. As I got older, I learned they weren't, and vowed not to use them. As I got even older I not only vowed not to use them, or believe in them, but to actually speak against them. And even in that I think I've most likely failed miserably.
America often prides itself on being "the great melting pot," the "land of opportunity," where "everyone" has the same level playing field to make something of themselves. This is, to put it bluntly, complete and utter bullshit. And I'm not even going to go into all the reasons it's bullshit, if you want the list, take an introductory sociology class. But if you make a conscious choice NOT to take such a class, trust me, it's bullshit. Although I will say it probably has much more potential to be true than many other countries. It's actions and follow-through however are lacking.
However, as a person who has tried very conscientiously not to allow negative stereotypes affect my judgement of individual people, it has sometimes been very hard to address others who are caught up in them. And this struggle has come from people of all walks of life. Any time I converse with people who are caught up in their own perceptions of reality that do not run parallel to mine, it's sometimes hard to remember that perception is how one looks at the world and their place in it from an internal point of reference.
An example of this is a time when I attempted to speak up against a racist comment on social media. As a white person, I freely admit that I can't know the stress, terror or disenfranchisement of a person of color in today's society. I can empathize through the limited knowledge I do have, however. But my well-intentioned comment was that when encountering another person and dealing with them, I don't "see" them as black or white or brown, but as a human.
I admit that perhaps a better wording would have been "judge" them, rather than "see" them. I was then called "racist" by a person of color for not "seeing" them *as* a person of color, of stripping away their uniqueness and "white-washing" them into something more "palatable" to my white sensibilities. I was hurt, shocked and offended by the comment, and it took me literally years to overcome the hurt the attack caused me, by realizing that the comment had less to do with me personally and more to do with the way the person attacking me perceived and interacted with their environment.
Maybe that is what is stirring so much hate and distrust and outrage right now in the world. I've heard from many white people "I've tried to be as non-racist as possible, but black people are as racist as whites." And I've found that to be, in some cases, true. It's hard as a white person to stand up for and defend someone who spits in your face. Just as it's true that it's hard to be a chemically independent person and stand up for or help people who have addictions and are not ready to accept the help. The person you're trying to help has to want and accept your help. Some do and some don't.
That doesn't mean you don't try to stand up for them. It doesn't mean you don't treat them with empathy, take their criticism as a product of the environment they exist in or a product of their own mindset. It doesn't mean that as a human being that cares about their welfare you don't work to see the barriers to their well-being removed, the laws that keep them disenfranchised abolished or reformed. It doesn't mean that you don't model compassionate behavior so they know that someone does honestly accept them as human beings and allow them the freedom to chose a more positive and productive outlook on life.
And this is not to imply that I'm comparing people of other colors to drug addicts as a matter of negative context. Indeed, as a mental health advocate I see the stigmatization of people with mental health disorders or addictions a problem in our society almost as much as the stigmatization and disenfranchisement of people of color, or any other 'label' that keeps people from accepting other people as valuable human beings. It's a symptom of the fundamental broken nature of the structure that we perceive as our society.
There's no society here. A society, by it's nature, has a cohesiveness. The structures we have built for ourselves have little cohesiveness save the fluctuating hatred, hope, oppression, and apathy which keeps the wheel grinding everyone who live within, even those who believe it doesn't exist or that they're above it all.
Yes, I was born white, which gives me an opportunity not afforded to people who were not born white. I get that. And I've tried all my life not to abuse a privilege that I can't change. I can no more change my skin color than a person of another race can change theirs. So let's not let that be the issue.
HOW people use that fact of biology is what makes the difference. When the numbers tell people with white skin that people of other skin colors - specifically dark or black - are treated inhumanely, it's incumbent for people who have the privilege of NOT being treated inhumanely to stand up and say something to those perpetrating the inhumanity. This should a HUMAN thing, not a race thing, a political thing, a spiritual thing, a gender thing or national thing. A human thing.
I'm not advocating "Black Lives Matter," or even "All Lives Matter," although most certainly, these statements are both correct - they are not mutually exclusive. And honestly, I lean more middle-of-the-road. I don't believe "all" lives matter per se, but I also don't believe it's humanity's right to choose based on subjective criteria, feelings, hunches, or mob-rule when to end another's life. The Universe, humanity's propensity for stupidity, natural selection (when allowed to do it's job,) and Mother Nature are all fully capable of doing that.
And I sure as hell don't believe it's right to kill, harm, threaten or profile people (ANY people) based on the color of their skin, their gender or choice of gender (or lack thereof,) their form of sexuality (and let me clarify again, choice of adult, consensual sexuality, not aberrant mental illness-based sexuality like child molestation,) genocide, religious cleansing, etc. These are labels humanity has created, they are not natural, not evolutionary, and not constructive. I doubt if bonobo monkeys ostracize members of the group who have 6 whiskers on one side and 5 on the other... because it's STUPID TO DO SO.
That being said, I was raised in a very dysfunctional and racist family and household. I have little doubt that the rest of my living family most likely have quite a different view of race and humanity than I do (and if any of them read this - which I doubt will happen except by sheer accident - and that is not true, I sincerely apologize.) As a young child I heard pretty much every racial slur, derogatory epithet and pejorative known to the English language. When I was too young to know better, I wondered why such terms were necessary. As I got older, I learned they weren't, and vowed not to use them. As I got even older I not only vowed not to use them, or believe in them, but to actually speak against them. And even in that I think I've most likely failed miserably.
America often prides itself on being "the great melting pot," the "land of opportunity," where "everyone" has the same level playing field to make something of themselves. This is, to put it bluntly, complete and utter bullshit. And I'm not even going to go into all the reasons it's bullshit, if you want the list, take an introductory sociology class. But if you make a conscious choice NOT to take such a class, trust me, it's bullshit. Although I will say it probably has much more potential to be true than many other countries. It's actions and follow-through however are lacking.
However, as a person who has tried very conscientiously not to allow negative stereotypes affect my judgement of individual people, it has sometimes been very hard to address others who are caught up in them. And this struggle has come from people of all walks of life. Any time I converse with people who are caught up in their own perceptions of reality that do not run parallel to mine, it's sometimes hard to remember that perception is how one looks at the world and their place in it from an internal point of reference.
An example of this is a time when I attempted to speak up against a racist comment on social media. As a white person, I freely admit that I can't know the stress, terror or disenfranchisement of a person of color in today's society. I can empathize through the limited knowledge I do have, however. But my well-intentioned comment was that when encountering another person and dealing with them, I don't "see" them as black or white or brown, but as a human.
I admit that perhaps a better wording would have been "judge" them, rather than "see" them. I was then called "racist" by a person of color for not "seeing" them *as* a person of color, of stripping away their uniqueness and "white-washing" them into something more "palatable" to my white sensibilities. I was hurt, shocked and offended by the comment, and it took me literally years to overcome the hurt the attack caused me, by realizing that the comment had less to do with me personally and more to do with the way the person attacking me perceived and interacted with their environment.
Maybe that is what is stirring so much hate and distrust and outrage right now in the world. I've heard from many white people "I've tried to be as non-racist as possible, but black people are as racist as whites." And I've found that to be, in some cases, true. It's hard as a white person to stand up for and defend someone who spits in your face. Just as it's true that it's hard to be a chemically independent person and stand up for or help people who have addictions and are not ready to accept the help. The person you're trying to help has to want and accept your help. Some do and some don't.
That doesn't mean you don't try to stand up for them. It doesn't mean you don't treat them with empathy, take their criticism as a product of the environment they exist in or a product of their own mindset. It doesn't mean that as a human being that cares about their welfare you don't work to see the barriers to their well-being removed, the laws that keep them disenfranchised abolished or reformed. It doesn't mean that you don't model compassionate behavior so they know that someone does honestly accept them as human beings and allow them the freedom to chose a more positive and productive outlook on life.
And this is not to imply that I'm comparing people of other colors to drug addicts as a matter of negative context. Indeed, as a mental health advocate I see the stigmatization of people with mental health disorders or addictions a problem in our society almost as much as the stigmatization and disenfranchisement of people of color, or any other 'label' that keeps people from accepting other people as valuable human beings. It's a symptom of the fundamental broken nature of the structure that we perceive as our society.
There's no society here. A society, by it's nature, has a cohesiveness. The structures we have built for ourselves have little cohesiveness save the fluctuating hatred, hope, oppression, and apathy which keeps the wheel grinding everyone who live within, even those who believe it doesn't exist or that they're above it all.
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